I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
