When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
