I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
