Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
