I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
