yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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