so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
