so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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