Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
