your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
