Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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