dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
