My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
