Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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