He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
