wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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