The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
