Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
