So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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