At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
