i need an iv and a liver transplant
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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