if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
