you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
