it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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