how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
