yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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