Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
