I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
