I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
