Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm getting married
To pizza
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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