I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
