how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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