I smell stomach acid.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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