I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
