I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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