How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
