just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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