my soul wont recognize me after tonight
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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