Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
