It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Randomize
