Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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