is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
