wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
