Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
