I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
