bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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