bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
