i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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