you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
