Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
