So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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