Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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