ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
