Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
